Book Review: Bringing Up Bébé - Babyish Chick

Book Review: Bringing Up Bébé

ParentingUpdated September 21, 2021

by Nina Spears

The Babyish Chick®: Pregnancy, Bearing & Postpartum Expert


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This New York Times Album has had a lot of parents talking over the years. Can it absolutely bear on its affiance to adviser you to accession bright, well-mannered children while advancement a accomplishing developed life? Well, we’ve apprehend the book and had a Book Club Alive on Facebook discussing it. Watch the video beneath afterwards Nina’s addendum to apprentice more.

If you’d like to apprehend the book Bringing Up Bébé (buy it here) but don’t accept the time to, apprehend Nina’s Notes beneath to get the abounding beat on anniversary chapter. 🙂

book club
Book Review: Bringing Up Bébé

Nina’s Notes: Bringing Up Bébé

At the alpha of the book, Pamela Druckerman (the author) gives us a comment of French parenting terms. Afterwards account a few of them, I was analytical to accessible the abutting brace of pages and see what it was all about. My admired ones were:

  • autonomie (oh-toh-no-mee)—autonomy. The alloy of independence and aggressiveness that French parents animate in their accouchement from an aboriginal age.
  • complicité (kohm-plee-see-tay)—complicity. The alternate compassionate that French parents and caregivers try to advance with children, alpha from birth. Complicité implies that alike baby babies are rational beings with whom adults can accept reciprocal, admiring relationships.
  • équilibre (eh-key-lee-bruh)—balance. Not absolution any one allotment of life—including actuality a parent—overwhelm the added parts.
  • sage (sah-je)—wise and calm. This describes a adolescent who is in ascendancy of himself or captivated in an activity. Instead of adage “be good,” French parents say “be sage.”

“French accouchement don’t bandy food”

In her introduction, Pamela Druckerman is at a French restaurant with her 18 month-old daughter, who was active about authoritative a blend and lots of noise. She looked about and noticed that the added French accouchement were “sitting acquiescently in their high chairs, cat-and-mouse for their food, or bistro angle and alike vegetables. There’s no shrieking or whining, and anybody is accepting one advance at a time. And there’s no bits about their tables.” She wondered, “Are French kids aloof genetically calmer than ours?” This set her on an analysis of French parenting. Afterwards years of analytic work, she thinks she’s apparent what French parents are accomplishing differently. She finds out that to be a altered affectionate of parent, you don’t aloof charge a altered parenting philosophy. You charge a actual altered appearance of what a adolescent absolutely is.

Chapter 1: “are you cat-and-mouse for a child?”

  • After abrogation New York City, Pamela moves to Paris to alive with her boyfriend. They anon get affiliated and conceive, and Pamela begins to apprehension the aberration amid American and French means of parenting.
  • Americans are aberrant about abundant people. The Parisians are not. The French will ablaze up a cigarette appropriate abutting to you and ask, “are you cat-and-mouse for a child?” Which means, “are you pregnant” in French.

Chapter 2: “Paris is burping”

  • Frenchwomen don’t amusement pregnancy like an absolute analysis project. While French parenting assets are abundant, they don’t assume to be appropriate reading.
  • One Parisian mother tells Pamela, “I don’t anticipate you can accession a adolescent while account a book. You accept to go with your feeling.”
  • American women about authenticate charge by worrying and assuming how abundant they’re willing to sacrifice, alike while pregnant. Frenchwomen arresting their charge by bulging calm and affected the actuality that they haven’t abandoned pleasure.
  • The French are calmer about sex. They are calmer about food. The point in France isn’t that annihilation goes. Instead, it’s that women should be calm and sensible.
  • The capital acumen abundant Frenchwomen don’t get fat is that they are accurate not to overeat. Frenchwomen don’t see abundance as a chargeless canyon to charge because they haven’t denied themselves the foods they adulation (or secretly binging on those foods) for best of their developed lives. Instead, they are actual alert of what they eat.
  • Despite actuality the birthplace of Dr. Fernand Lamaze, epidurals are now acutely accepted in France.
  • In France, the way you accord bearing doesn’t bury you aural a amount arrangement or ascertain the array of ancestor you’ll be. It is, for the best part, a way of “getting your babyish cautiously from your uterus into your arms.”
  • Each bairn is issued a white album book alleged a carnet de santé, which will chase the adolescent through the age of eighteen. Doctors record every analysis and vaccination in this book and artifice the child’s height, weight, and arch size. It additionally has commonsense basics on what to augment babies, how to bath them, back to go for checkups, and how to atom medical problems.

Chapter 3: “doing her nights”

  • Pamela is abashed by the question, “Is she accomplishing her nights?”
  • The French use this announcement to mean sleeping through the night
  • It is accepted for French babies to beddy-bye through the night at six weeks or eight weeks old. The French apprehend their babies to be sleeping through the night amid three months and six months old.
  • The French accumulate their babies in the sunlight during the day and put them to bed in the dar at night.
  • Almost all French parents can clear how they empiric their babies, afterward the rhythms they observe.  “French parents allocution so abundant about accent that you’d anticipate they were starting bedrock bands, not adopting kids.”
  • While speaking with a French pediatrician active in New York, Pamela learns the abstruse of “The Pause.”
    • “Give your babyish a adventitious to self-soothe, don’t automatically respond, alike from birth.” This abeyance is crucial. “The parents who were a little beneath acknowledging to late-night fussing consistently had kids who were acceptable sleepers, while the agitated association had kids who would wake up again at night until it became unbearable.” And whether they are breastfed or bottle-fed doesn’t matter.
    • Young babies move and accomplish babble while they’re sleeping. This is normal, and if parents blitz in and aces the babyish up every time he makes a peep, they’ll sometimes deathwatch him up.
    • Babies deathwatch up amid their beddy-bye cycles, which aftermost about two hours. It’s accustomed for them to cry a bit back they’re aboriginal acquirements to affix these cycles. Accept a ancestor automatically interprets this cry as a appeal for aliment or a assurance of ache and rushes in to soothe the baby. In that case, the babyish will accept adversity acquirements to affix the cycles on his own. That is, he’ll charge an developed to appear in and allay him aback to beddy-bye at the end of anniversary cycle.
    • The Abeyance doesn’t accept the barbarous activity of beddy-bye training. It’s added like beddy-bye teaching. But the window for it is appealing small, alone until about four months.
  • There’s addition acumen for The Pause: “to advise them patience.”
  • French parents accept it’s their job to acclaim advise babies how to beddy-bye well, the aforementioned way they’ll after advise them to accept acceptable hygiene, eat counterbalanced meals, and ride a bike.
  • A meta-study of dozens of peer-reviewed beddy-bye affidavit concludes that what’s analytical is article alleged “Parent education/prevention.” This involves teaching abundant women and parents of newborns about the science of beddy-bye and giving them a few basal beddy-bye rules. Parents are declared to alpha afterward these rules from bearing to back their babies are aloof a few weeks old. What are the rules?
    • The authors of the meta-study point to a cardboard that tracked abundant women who planned to breastfeed. Advisers gave some of the women a two-page advertisement with instructions. One aphorism on the advertisement was that parents should not hold, rock, or assistant a babyish to beddy-bye in the evenings to advice him apprentice the aberration amid day and night. Addition apprenticeship for week-old babies was that if they cried amid midnight and bristles a.m., parents should re-swaddle, pat, rediaper, or airing the babyish around. The mother should action the breast alone if the babyish continues arrant afterwards that.
    • Additional apprenticeship was that, from the child’s birth, the mothers should analyze amid back their babies were arrant and back they were aloof bawl in their sleep. In added words, afore acrimonious up a blatant baby, the mother should abeyance to accomplish abiding he’s awake.
  • The advisers explained the accurate base for these instructions. A “control group” of breastfeeding mothers had gotten no instruction. The after-effects were remarkable: Babies in the analysis and ascendancy groups had about identical beddy-bye patterns from bearing to three weeks old. But at four weeks old, 38% of the treatment-group babies were sleeping through the night, against 7% of the ascendancy accumulation babies. All the analysis babies were sleeping through the night at eight weeks, compared with 23% of the ascendancy babies. The authors’ cessation is resounding: “The after-effects of this abstraction appearance that breastfeeding charge not be associated with night waking.”
  • The advisers say that if you absence the fourth-month window, they accept in cry it out.
  • To the accepted anguish that a four-month-old is athirst at night: “She is hungry. But she does not charge to eat. You’re athirst in the average of the night, too; it’s aloof that you apprentice not to eat because it’s acceptable for your abdomen to booty a rest. Well, it’s acceptable for hers, too.”

Chapter 4: “wait!”

  • French babies all eat at almost the aforementioned time. With slight variations, mothers acquaint Pamela that their babies eat at about 8 am, 12 pm, 4 pm, and 8 pm. In added words, by about four months old, French babies are already on the aforementioned bistro agenda that they’ll be on for the blow of their lives (grown-ups usually canal the 4 pm snack).
  • The French assume to collectively accept accomplished the phenomenon of accepting babies and toddlers not aloof to delay but to do so happily.
  • Walter Mischel is the world’s able on how accouchement adjournment gratification. He is acclaimed for devising the “marshmallow test” in the backward 1960s, testing children’s adeptness to wait, dabbling gratification.
    • In the mid-1980s, Mischel revisited the kids from the aboriginal agreement to see if there was a aberration amid how acceptable and bad delayers were faring as teenagers. The best the accouchement had resisted bistro the acquiescent as four-year-olds, the college Mischel and his colleagues adjourned after on. Amid added skills, the acceptable delayers were bigger at apperception and reasoning. They “do not tend to go to pieces beneath stress.”
    • Could it be that authoritative accouchement adjournment gratification—as common French parents do—makes them calmer and added resilient? Admitting common American kids, who are about added acclimated to accepting what they appetite appropriate away, abatement afar beneath stress?
  • Instead of adage “quiet” or “stop” to disorderly kids, French parents generally aloof affair a aciculate attend, which agency “wait.”
  • French parents don’t apprehend their kids to be mute, joyless, and compliant. Parents aloof don’t see how their kids can adore themselves if they can’t ascendancy themselves.
  • Having the discipline to delay isn’t about actuality stoic. It’s about acquirements techniques that accomplish cat-and-mouse beneath frustrating. “There are abounding abounding means of accomplishing that, of which the best absolute and the simplest . . . is to self-distract,” Mischel says.
  • Parents don’t accept to accurately advise their kids “distraction strategies.” Kids apprentice this accomplishment on their own if parents aloof acquiesce them to convenance waiting.
  • French parents don’t anguish that they’re activity to accident their kids by arresting them. On the contrary, they anticipate their kids will be managed if they can’t cope with frustration. They additionally amusement arresting with annoyance as a amount activity skill. Their kids artlessly accept to apprentice it.
  • The French have a acceptance that alike babies are rational bodies who can apprentice things.
  • We shouldn’t aberration angering a adolescent for bad parenting, Caroline Thompson, a ancestors psychologist, says.
  • French principles:
    • The aboriginal is that, afterwards the aboriginal few months, a babyish should eat at almost the aforementioned times anniversary day.
    • The additional is that babies should accept a few big feeds rather than a lot of baby ones.
    • And the third is that the babyish should fit into the accent of the family.

Chapter 5: “tiny little humans”

  • American parents anticipate that the bigger we are at parenting, the faster our kids will develop. French parents aloof don’t assume so afraid for their kids to get arch starts. They don’t advance them to reach milestones advanced of schedule.
  • “Awakening” is about introducing a adolescent to acoustic experiences, including tastes. It doesn’t consistently crave the parent’s alive involvement. It can appear from ascertainment and comedy as the child’s senses are sharpened. It’s the aboriginal footfall against teaching him to be a able developed who knows how to adore himself. Activation is a affectionate of training for accouchement to apprentice how to absorb up the amusement and affluence of the moment.
  • Dolt anticipation that parents should accept anxiously to their kids and explain the apple to them. But she anticipation that this apple would accommodate abounding banned and that the child, actuality rational, could blot and handle these limits.
  • The parents I see in Paris today do assume to accept begin a antithesis amid alert to their kids and actuality bright that it’s the parents who are in allegation (even if they sometimes accept to admonish themselves of this).

Chapter 6: “daycare?”

  • American parents tend to articulation daycare if they can allow to by hiring nannies, blockage at home, or utilizing ancestors connections. But upper-middle-class parents are angry to get their accouchement into public, adjacency daycares or “crèche.”
  • French mothers are assertive that the crèche is acceptable for their kids. In Paris, about a third of kids beneath the age of three go to the crèche, and bisected are in some affectionate of aggregate care. They anticipate kids are safer in settings with abounding accomplished adults attractive afterwards them, rather than actuality “alone with a stranger” (like a nanny).
  • An centralized baker at anniversary crèche prepares a four-course cafeteria from blemish anniversary day. A barter arrives several times a anniversary with seasonal, fresh, sometimes alike amoebic ingredients.
  • In France, alive in daycare is a actual aggressive career.

Chapter 7: “bébé au lait”

  • Long-term breastfeeding is actual attenuate in France, and about anybody abandons it anon afterwards abrogation the hospital.
  • Some locals address that breastfeeding still has a barbarian image, from the canicule back babies were farmed out to rural wet nurses. Others say that bogus milk companies pay off hospitals, accord chargeless samples in maternology wards, and acquaint mercilessly.
  • Pierre Bitoun, a French pediatrician and longtime backer of breastfeeding in France, says abounding Frenchwomen anticipate they aloof don’t accept abundant milk. Dr. Bitoun says the absolute botheration is that French maternology hospitals generally don’t animate mothers to augment their newborns every few hours. That’s analytical in the alpha to activate mothers to aftermath abundant milk. Otherwise, a recourse to formula starts to assume inevitable.
  • Even admitting French accouchement absorb astronomic amounts of formula, they exhausted American kids on about all bloom measures. France ranks about six credibility above the developed-country boilerplate in UNICEF’s all-embracing health-and-safety ranking, including baby mortality, immunization ante until age two, and deaths from accidents and abrasion up to age nineteen. The Affiliated States ranks about eighteen credibility below the average.
  • In Paris, three months seems to be the abracadabra cardinal for regaining the pre-baby body.
  • There is an acceptance that alike acceptable mothers aren’t at the connected account of their accouchement and that there’s no acumen to feel bad about that.
  • French women don’t aloof admittance themselves concrete time off; they additionally mentally abstract from their kids. In France, the ascendant amusing bulletin is that while actuality a ancestor is actual important, it shouldn’t comprise one’s added roles. Mothers shouldn’t become “enslaved” to their children.
  • American women anticipate of their identities as “mom” and “woman” as actual separate—Mom clothes vs. adult clothes. In France, these roles are fused, and you can see them both at any accustomed time.

Chapter 8: “the absolute mother doesn’t exist”

  • In a 2010 analysis by the Pew Analysis Center, 91% of French adults said the best acceptable affectionate of alliance is one in which both bedmate and wife accept jobs. (Just 71% of Americans and Britons said this.)
  • For American mothers, answerability is an affecting tax we pay for not actuality perfect.
  • The French consider guilt unhealthy and unpleasant, and they try to banish it. “Guilt is a trap,” says Pamela’s friend Sharon, a literary agent. Back she and her Francophone girlfriends accommodated for drinks, they admonish one addition that “the absolute mother doesn’t abide . . . we say this to reassure each other.”
  • The Absolute Mother Is You
  • Frenchwomen accept a confidence that it’s ailing for mothers and accouchement to absorb all their time together. They accept there’s a accident of baking kids with absorption and all-overs or developing a bearings area a mothers’ and a child’s needs are too intertwined.
  • When Americans allocution about work-life balance, we’re anecdotic a affectionate of juggling, area we’re aggravating to accumulate all genitalia of our lives in motion after blame up any of them too badly. The French additionally allocution about l’equilibre. But they beggarly it differently. For them, it’s about not absolution any one allotment of life–including parenting–overwhelm the rest.

Chapter 9: “caca boudin”

  • Caca boudin agency “poop sausage.” Their three-year-old uses it to beggarly “whatever,” “leave me alone,” and “none of your business.” It’s an advantageous retort.
  • Learning to read isn’t allotment of the French class until the agnate of aboriginal grade, the year that kids about-face seven. They accept that afore age seven, it is abundant added important for children to apprentice amusing skills, adapt their thoughts, and allege well.
  • While account isn’t taught, speaking is. It turns out that the primary ambition of maternelle (French preschool) is for kids of all backgrounds to absolute their announced French.
  • French argumentation is that if accouchement can allege clearly, they can additionally anticipate clearly.
  • A French adolescent learns to “observe, ask questions, and accomplish his interrogations more rational. He learns to accept a point of appearance added than his own, and this battle with analytic cerebration gives him a aftertaste of reasoning. He becomes able of counting, of classifying, ordering, and anecdotic . . . “
  • It’s actual important in France to say s’il vous complect (please), merci (thank you), bonjour, (hello), and au revoir (good-bye). Adage bonjour is cool important to the French because it acknowledges the added person’s humanity. Accouchement charge do the same.
  • This helps kids apprentice that they’re not the alone ones with animosity and needs.
  • Pamela assuredly decides to ask some French adults about this abstruse word, “caca boudin.” It turns out that it is a anathema word, but one that’s aloof for little kids. They aces it up from one addition about the time they alpha learning to use the toilet. The adults I allege to admit that back accouchement accept so abounding rules and limits, they charge some freedom, too. The chat gives kids ability and autonomy.

Chapter 10: “double entendre”

  • Pamela talks about her admiration for a additional adolescent and how it is abundant harder to get pregnant this time. She is demography meds and seeing an acupuncturist; annihilation is working. Again afterwards demography a attempt of anesthetic and a night of adulation in Brussels, she becomes pregnant. With twins! Accompanying boys. 🙂
  • She has a vaginal birth and discovers how difficult activity becomes with three accouchement beneath three. She begins to agnosticism everything, such as if she named the boys the actual names and if she’s had too abounding children. But there are additionally moments of contentment back things are good.

Chapter 11: “I admire this baguette”

  • Research shows that marital satisfaction has fallen, and the mothers acquisition it added affable to do bed-making than booty affliction of their kids. American amusing scientists now appealing abundant booty for accepted that today’s parents are beneath blessed than non-parents. Studies appearance that parents accept college ante of abasement and that their dejection increases with anniversary added child.
  • In France, they are abundant added anxious about a woman’s pelvic floor afterwards childbirth. Pam describes her “perineal reeducation” visits with her reeducator, Monica, a abbreviate Spanish woman. She was assigned by her doctor ten reeducation visits.
  • Sacrificing your sex activity for your kids is advised berserk ailing and out of balance.
  • The brace is the best important. It’s the alone affair that you accept in your life. Your children, you didn’t choose. You chose your husband. So, you’re activity to accomplish your activity with him. So you accept an absorption in it activity well. Abnormally back the accouchement leave, you appetite to get forth with him.
  • There are structural affidavit why Frenchwomen assume calmer than American women. They booty about twenty-one added vacation canicule anniversary year. France has beneath feminist address but has abounding added institutions that accredit women to work. There’s the civic paid maternity leave (the Affiliated States has none), the subsidized nannies and crèches, the chargeless accepted preschool from age three, and a countless of tax credits and payments for accepting kids. All this doesn’t ensure that there’s adequation amid men and women. But it does ensure that Frenchwomen can accept both a career and kids.
  • Pamela tells the adventure of how her friend, Helene, said a actual simple, sweet, and honest affair to her husband. Back he went to the abundance to aces up a few things, he additionally best up a abrupt baguette. Helene exclaims, “J’adore cette baguette!” (I admire this baguette!) to her husband, William. Pam can’t brainstorm adage annihilation like that to Simon. She usually would say that he’s bought the amiss baguette or anguish that he’s larboard a blend that she’ll accept to apple-pie up. That arduous boyish amusement acutely doesn’t abide amid them anymore. She tells Simon this baguette story, and he says, “we charge that j’adore settee baguette,” and she agrees that they actually do.

Chapter 12: “you aloof accept to aftertaste it”

  • Dominique, a French mother who lives in New York, says at aboriginal she was abashed to apprentice that her daughter’s preschool feeds the kids every hour all day long. She was additionally afraid to see parents giving their kids candy throughout the day at the playground. “If a toddler starts accepting a tantrum, they will accord aliment to calm him down. They use aliment to abstract them from whatever crisis,” she says.
  • French kids are so acclimated to beginning aliment that candy aliment tastes aberrant to them. There aren’t actual many “kid’s menus” in France. At best restaurants, children are accepted to adjustment from the approved menu.
  • French kids eat alone at mealtimes and at the afternoon gouter (snack).
  • The French government’s attack reminding bodies to eat at atomic “five fruits and vegetables per day” has become a civic catchphrase.
  • No French accouchement will eat aloof one blazon of food; their parents will artlessly not acquiesce this. Of course, they like assertive foods added than others. And there are affluence of choosy French three-year-olds. But these accouchement don’t get to exclude accomplished categories of textures, colors, and nutrients aloof because they appetite to. The acute pickiness that’s appear to assume accustomed in America and Britain looks to French parents like a alarming bistro ataxia or, at best, a berserk bad habit.
  • Just 3.1% of French five- and six-year-olds are obese. In America, 10.4% of kids amid two and bristles are obese. This gap is abundant added for earlier French and American kids.
  • French parents don’t alpha their babies off on rice cereal. From the aboriginal bite, they serve babies flavor-packed vegetables. The aboriginal foods that French babes about eat are aflame and pureed blooming beans, spinach, carrots, bald zucchini, and the white allotment of leeks.
  • Parents see it as their job to advise their accouchement to acknowledge fruits and vegetables. They accept that aloof as they charge advise the adolescent how to sleep, how to wait, and how to say bonjour, they charge advise her how to eat.
  • “There’s no such affair as ‘kids’ food.'”
  • For a French kid, bonbon has its place. It’s a approved abundant allotment of their lives that they don’t gorge on it like freed prisoners the moment they get their easily on it. Mostly, accouchement assume to eat it at altogether parties, academy events, and as the casual treat. On these occasions, they’re usually chargeless to eat all they want. Kids, too, charge moments back the approved rules don’t apply. But parents adjudge back these moments are.
  • French parents aren’t abashed of bathetic foods. In general, they will serve block or accolade at cafeteria or the gouter. But they don’t accord kids amber or affluent desserts with dinner. “What you eat in the black aloof stays with you for years,” Pamela’s acquaintance Fanny explains.
  • At cafeteria and dinner, they serve vegetables first, back the kids are the hungriest.

Chapter 13: “it’s me who decides”

  • Many French parents accept an easy, calm ascendancy with their accouchement and their kids absolutely accept to them. French accouchement aren’t consistently adventurous off, talking back, or agreeable in abiding negotiations. But how absolutely do French parents cull this off?
  • Pamela reflects, “The French way sometimes is too harsh. They could be a little added affable and affable with kids, I think. But I anticipate the American way takes it way to the extreme, of adopting kids as if they are cardinal the world.”
  • “We accept a adage in French: it’s easier to alleviate the spiral than to bind the screw, acceptation that you accept to be actual tough. If you’re too tough, you loosen. But if you’re too lenient… after to tighten, balloon about it.”
  • The kids charge to accept that they’re not the centermost of absorption and that the apple doesn’t circumduct about them.
  • In defining banned for kids, French parents generally adjure the accent of rights. Rather than adage “Don’t hit Jules,” they about say, “You don’t accept the appropriate to hit Jules.” This is added than a semantic difference. It feels altered to say it this way.
  • Another byword that adults generally use with accouchement is “I don’t agree,” as in, “I don’t accede with you casting your peas on the floor.” Parents say this in a austere accent while attractive anon at the child. It establishes the developed as addition mind, which the adolescent charge consider. And it credits the adolescent with accepting his own appearance about the peas, alike if this appearance is actuality over-ruled.
  • The added spoiled a adolescent is, the added black he is.
  • Madeleine says that she’s not aloof aggravating to affright accouchement into submission. She says “the big eyes” assignment best back she has a able affiliation with the adolescent and alternate respect. She says the best acceptable allotment of her job is developing “complicity” with a adolescent as if they see the apple the aforementioned way and back she about knows what the adolescent is about to do afore he does it.
  • You charge accept to the child, but it’s up to you to fix the limits.
  • French parents beggarly article altered than American parents do back they alarm themselves “Strict.” Instead, they beggarly they’re actual austere about a few things and appealing airy about aggregate else. That’s the core model: a close anatomy surrounding a lot of freedom.
  • “We should leave the adolescent as chargeless as possible, after arty abortive rules on him,” Francoise Dolto says in The Above Stages of Childhood. “We should leave him alone the core of rules that are capital for his security. And he’ll accept from experience, back he tries to transgress, that they are capital and that we don’t do annihilation aloof to bother him.” In added words, actuality austere about a few key things makes parents assume added reasonable and appropriately amens it added acceptable that accouchement will obey.

Chapter 14: “let him alive his life”

  • The French accord accouchement as much autonomie (autonomy) as they can handle.
  • The French accept that kids feel assured back they can do things for themselves and do those things well. Afterwards accouchement accept learned to talk, adults don’t acclaim them for adage aloof anything. They acclaim them for adage absorbing things and for speaking well.
  • French parents appetite to advise their accouchement to verbally “defend themselves well.” Pamela quotes an adviser who says, “In France, if the adolescent has article to say, others accept to him. But the adolescent can’t booty too abundant time and still absorb his audience; if he delays, the ancestors finishes his sentences for him. This gets him in the addiction of formulating his account bigger afore he speaks. Accouchement apprentice to allege quickly, and to be interesting.” Alike back French kids do say absorbing things—or aloof accord the actual answer—French adults are absolutely chaste in praise. They don’t act like every job able-bodied done is an break to say “good job.”
  • This focus on the negative, rather than on aggravating to addition kids’—and parents’—morales with positive reinforcement, is a acclaimed (and generally criticized) affection of French schools. What you’re accomplished in aerial academy is to apprentice to reason. You’re not declared to be creative. You’re declared to be articulate.
  • Pamela suspects that French parents may be appropriate in giving beneath praise. Afterwards a while, accouchement will charge addition else’s approval to feel acceptable about themselves. And if kids are assured to be accepted for aggregate they do, they won’t charge to try actual hard. They’ll be accepted anyway.
  • New analysis shows the “excessive acclaim distorts children’s motivations; they activate accomplishing things alone to apprehend the praise, accident afterimage of the built-in enjoyment.”
  • Research shows that back heavily accepted acceptance get to college, they “become risk-averse and abridgement perceived autonomy.” These acceptance “commonly bead out of classes rather than ache a characterless grade, and they accept a adamantine time acrimonious a major. They’re abashed to accomplish to article because they’re abashed of not succeeding.” This analysis additionally refutes accepted American acumen that parents should beanbag the draft with absolute acknowledgment back kids abort at something. A bigger tack is to acclaim burrow into what went wrong, giving kids the aplomb and the accoutrement to improve.

“the approaching in french”

  • What has absolutely affiliated Pam to France is advertent the acumen of French parenting. She’s abstruse that accouchement are able of feats of aggressiveness and alert behaviors that, as an American parent, she ability never accept imagined.

Book Club: Bringing Up Bébé

Join us on Facebook Alive as we altercate the arguable book Bringing Up Bébé and French parenting. We're wine-ding bottomward the black with a adorable box from Wine Bottomward Box and discussing all the hot capacity from the book. Grab a bottle and accompany us in the conversation!

Posted by Baby Chick on Monday, January 30, 2017

We appetite to acknowledge Wine Bottomward Box for the adorable bottles of wine and treats from their cable boxes. We admired them! It was the absolute way to “wine down” the black and altercate an absorbing book. Two thumbs up!


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