I’m a BIG proponent of writing a birth plan. Why? It’s not the actual finished plan that I think is important, it’s more about the process of an expecting mother educating herself & learning about her options for her upcoming labor and delivery. ❤️⁠  Education = power!⁠

Do you know what I’m even MORE insistent about expecting mothers doing? Writing a Postpartum Plan. ⁠?⁠

Don’t get me wrong, birth is extremely important and a pivotal point in a woman’s life. The memory of giving birth can set the trajectory of a mother’s journey into motherhood—be that powerful & positive ?  or weak & alone. ?  If she felt unsupported, unheard, abandoned, or disrespected, those feelings and that memory will live with her forever. And the opposite is true. If she felt supported, heard, loved, and respected, that too will live with her forever. This is why it has been my life’s work to empower women, support them, listen to them, advocate for them, and hold positive space for them as they become mothers.⁠

Thankfully, birth is only a short period of time in the grand scheme of things. (Like motherhood, which is forever. ?) Postpartum is a time that, I feel, is not discussed enough and women are not preparing for enough. Postpartum (whether you think it’s the first 3 months, 6 months or first year) is when the mother is at her rawest and most vulnerable. She is learning this new role of how to take care of her child while also taking care of herself & recovering from birth. Just like her child, she too has been born, and just like a child needs to be held & cared for after birth, so do mothers.⁠

Because our societies are no longer like villages, families do not have the same support like we once did. So what must an expecting mother do? PLAN. Plan who is going to help with meals. Plan who is going to help with the house chores. Plan who is going to help with the older children. Plan with your partner (if you have one) how you will conquer the days and nights. Make a plan if you experience breastfeeding issues or need to visit a therapist (for physical or mental health). It’s too difficult to plan after the baby arrives. This is why expecting moms need a POSTPARTUM PLAN! ?

When I think back to when I gave birth to my son, I do remember the surges of the contractions, the release of being in the water in the tub, and the pushing. So much pushing. ?⁠

But I also remember the relief I felt when I first saw Mary Alice, one of my midwives, walk into my master bathroom while I was laboring in the tub. I remember my doula holding my hand in between pushes giving me encouragement, and my husband gently stroking my hair as I came down from the height of contractions.⁠

After giving birth, I remember how my midwives made my bed with fresh linens and with me in it feeling comfortable as I nestled with my newborn son. I remember how a meal was brought to me in bed and how everything was cleaned up and looked as if nothing happened — not like I had just given birth to a baby. (I had a home birth, by the way.) And I remember how they were all with me by my side every step of the way.⁠

I felt the love, the patience, and the respect that I needed. Those are the memories that I hold with me when I think about the day my son was born. It’s how I was cared for and how my birth team made me feel that stays with me.⁠

For expecting women out there, be intentional with the people that you invite into your birthing room. That includes your doctor, your midwife, and your support people. I know that things look very different right now with hospitals only allowing one support person, but you can still receive good support. Take an online birthing class with your partner and practice how they can help you in labor. Speak up to your nurse and ask for what you need and what you want for your experience. Be your own advocate! And if you feel like you can’t speak up, hire a doula and receive virtual support during your pregnancy, birth, and immediate postpartum. Feeling supported, respected, and truly cared for is just as important as having a successful birth with a healthy mom and baby. ?